You can educate the conscious mind and yet it never, ever changes the program. If we don’t own it we can’t change it. Step one, own it!
You don’t get habits to change just because you want them to. The subconscious mind resists change because if it changes then the habits change. You have to understand how the programs were put in the first place and then go back and do the same process. That means practice. If you want to play a musical instrument, a nice conscious idea, you have to practice.
So practice driving a car, practice playing a musical instrument, practice a relationship.
I love the new agey slang for it, “fake it till you make it.”https://www.brucelipton.com/blog/only-1-step
I stumbled upon this message today and felt compelled to share it. All too often, I find myself giving up on things I implement, and usually it’s because I try to add too many ‘transformations’ all at once.
I want to be healthy. I want to be thin. I want to feel inner-peace. I want to love and admire myself. I want to accept myself. I want to incorporate daily meditation practices. I want daily exercise regimes. I want to do yoga. I want to do Pilates. I want to go hiking daily. I want to try new recipes each day. I want to organize my pantry. I want to make sure my kitchen looks picture perfect every day. I want, I want, I want……..
The reality is —- there is no way that I can realistically do all of this each and every day and maintain any kind of inner-peace! Each of these things — [and trust me, I could add to this list and am resisting the urge to do so] — would require me to either clone myself, wear myself out, or sleep less.
The who, what’s, and why’s……
- I have had to prioritize MY LIST — and practice one or 2 of these consistently until they become habit-forming — and then add another, and another — gradually over time.
- I have also had to learn that ‘shit happens’. The phone rings. Or like yesterday — the kitchen sink got clogged up so I had to toss all my planned daily chores out the window — and deal with the unexpected issue.
Somewhere along the way, at a very early age, I created this paradigm of pressures (not by myself, but that’s another story) — and somehow this has become a bar set ‘way too high’ throughout my entire life. I didn’t realize how unrealistic, or unhealthy this was, until I spent time at the home of my adopted parents and they both said to me — “honey, slow down — tomorrow is another day!”
My partner has also taught me to slow down, and lower the bar of self-imposed expectations. His advice has been extremely helpful and I’m grateful that he doesn’t expect me to maintain ‘wonder-woman-mode-in-turbo-speed‘ in order for me to feel validated, and valuable, in our home.
I now set out a list of 2-3 things that are important for me to accomplish within a reasonable time-frame of several days, and if I accomplish one task per day, it’s all good!
I tell ya, it takes a lot of pressure off of myself, but at the same time it’s a work in progress because I still have this mental list rambling around in my head that says…..’wash your face, make the bed, get dressed, feed the pets, clean the floors, make the coffee, make the meals, clean the kitchen, write a blog, edit some photos, create and publish some posts, catch up on laundry, make the grocery list, check the bank account and reconcile the budget, do some errands, walk the dog, take out the trash (literally and figuratively)!!! and somewhere in there, remember to breathe……..
Practice, practice, practice…….and most of all…..lower the bar.